By Dr. Russ

The theme for this week has been 'PERSEVERANCE.'   We have learned about a 69 year old, South Korean grandmother who failed her written driver's license test 959 times before passing on the 960^th re-take; all the while maintaining a cheerful demeanor.  Cha Sa-soon never had the opportunity of a formal education, and thus never learned the reading 'R' of the three 'R's.'  She did however, through the “hard knocks” of life, learn the “P” of Perseverance - a core component of optimism.

While the three 'R's' are taught in school, I do not believe I have ever seen a course in any elementary, secondary or college curriculum entitled “Perseverance.” So, where do we learn the big “P?”  How do our children learn it?  How do we teach perseverance to our children?

Perhaps the children learn it by reading or listening to the Big “P” stories of famous people as exemplified in the following vignettes excerpted from one of my favorite “little books” entitled: Try Again, Fail Again, Fail Better (Herter Studio, Running Press):

• Thomas Edison experimented with over 6000 materials to use as his filament in a light bulb before he found the one that worked.(p.6)

• In his sophomore year, Michael Jordan failed to make his high school varsity basketball team.  He has said, “I was very disappointed and I thought the coach had made a mistake.  But my mother said the best thing for me to do was to prove to the coach that he was wrong.  And I started working on my game the day after I was cut.” (p.40)

• Alfred Butts invented the game of SCRABBLE after he lost his job as an architect during the Depression.  Butts fastidiously studied the front page of the New York Times to calculate how often each of the twenty-six letters of the English language was used. (p.44)

• Charles Goodyear was convinced of the commercial value of rubber – if he could only find a way to keep it from sticking and melting in the heat.  He began experimenting with the materials while in debtors prison, and continued to test the material for years, failing many times and eventually driving his family into poverty.  The story goes that in 1839, Goodyear was in town showing off his latest gum-and-sulphur formula.  As had happened in the past, snickers rose from the watching crowd.  It is said that Goodyear became agitated and while waving his arms in the air, the gum flew from his hand and landed on a sizzling hot stove.  When he went to scrape it off, he found that he had finally discovered weatherproof, or vulcanized, rubber. (p.54)

• Winston Chrurchill failed sixth grade.  He was subsequently defeated in every election for public office until he became prime minister at the age of sixty-two.  He later wrote, “Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.  Never, Never, Never, Never give up.”(p.24)

Or perhaps the children learn the Big “P” from the “over-and-over” again pronouncements of their parents, coaches, teachers or mentors such as:

• One of my mother's favorite expressions was: “You may not be smarter or as smart as the ‘next guy,' but you can always work harder.” 

• Tom Izzo, coach of the National Champion Michigan State University Men's Basketball Team says over and over to his players:  “You may not be able to out-skill your opponent, but you sure can out-work him.”

 Children can also learn The Big “P” from the kinds of tasks the parents assign them: 

• I was once on a judging panel of an essay writing contest for Junior High students.  The topic was motivation.  One of the top rated essays came from a girl who wrote about how her father had encouraged her to untangle a ball of string until she had every last knot undone.  The task took her hours, and her essay not only captured her internal mental struggle to stay with it but her joy and satisfaction of accomplishment of such a dull and mundane task.

 Five Parenting Tips to Teach Perseverance

1. Do recount stories of perseverance from within family tree.  Most families have an uncle, grandparent, or great grandparent who persevered and overcame some significant difficulties.  Any family descended from an ancestor who came thru Ellis Island surely has some stories to tell.  Need more family tree information: Google “Ellis Island” and explore the “family tree” data base.  Do tell about and have your children read about famous people past and present, like the one's above, who have persevered.
2. Like my mother and Tom Izzo - Do talk about the importance of hard work and staying with the task.  Begin verbalizing these maxims at an early age.  Do discount the adage, “I'd rather be lucky than good.”  Replace it with, “I'd rather be a hard worker than good.”  Then remind the child that ‘good' = ‘ability' = ‘skill,' and ‘skill' is acquired through hard work.  Teach the child that some will “catch-on” and learn something more quickly than others.  Then explain that the disadvantage of “catching-on-quickly” is that one may “give-up-quickly” as well in the face of the inevitable difficulties of life.
3. Be a “role-model-of persistence” for your children.  My dad was a “do-it-your-selfer.”  When I was age 7, he began putting in a “finished basement” with knotty pine paneling and tiled floor.  For two years, he came home from work and tackled the project for several hours every evening; weekends as well.  He just kept up the routine and it turned out to be a gem of a family room.  In my teenage years he decided to fiberglass our 16 foot mahogany planked sailboat so that it would float.  He had never fiberglassed anything. Out in the garage every weekend for three months, he kept working...with me as his primary gopher. When the job was completed, it wasn't the smooth finished texture of a factory molded fiber glass boat, but with a red paint job, we were proud of the rough edges; and the boat did float!!
4. When a child makes a commitment to join a team or activity make sure he/she stays with it for the season – OK to try something else next season, but finish out the current one.
5. Teaching PERSEVERANCE takes a long time; perhaps an entire childhood of storytelling, lecturing, role modeling and demanding effort.  Winston Churchill graduated from high school as “D” student, but showed in his adulthood that he had finally learned the BIG “P.”  Michael Jordan figured out the importance of “P” the summer between his sophomore and junior year of high school.  I too spent that sophomore to junior summer reflecting upon my future and realized how much effort I could and should be putting into my studies and sports. Finally, for the first time, as junior in high school, I made the academic honor role and received a varsity letter in soccer.